The usher moves him to the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, “ Okay—you’re ugly, too.” —Rodney Dangerfield
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“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” Groucho Marx.
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A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under the bridge. Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver, unable to contain his sarcasm, sreplied, “No officer—I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”
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Some years ago, the Sultan of Brunei was becoming angry as he had six children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy when one of his wives finally presented him with his only son and heir.
Just before his son’s sixth birthday, the Sultan took him aside and said, “Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you.”
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane.”
Not wanting to do anything halfway, he bought him American Airlines.
Just before his son’s seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. “Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you.”
His son replied, “Daddy, I would like a boat.”
In the same manner, his father bought him The Princess Cruise Lines.
Just before his son’s ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. “Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I’ll get it for you.”
His son, who had really gotten into the Disney cartoons, replied, “Daddy, I would like a Mickey Mouse outfit.”
Not wanting to do anything halfway, his father went and bought him The Microsoft Corporation.
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