A large, two-engined train was making it’s way across America. While crossing the Western mountains, one of the engines broke down. “No problem, we can make it to Denver and get a replacement engine there.” the engineer thought, and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, (if you didn’t guess) the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill in the middle of nowhere.
The engineer needed to inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and always trying to look on the bright side of things, made the following announcement:
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time until the additional engines arrive. The good news is that you didn’t take this trip in a plane!”
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 for the first offense.”
He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
A male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season pass?”
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Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream. When his mother enters the kitchen, she says, “Put that away Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
Trying to placate him, she says, “I’ll play with you. What’s the game?”
He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.”
Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “OK, but just for a little while. What do I do?”
Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, she goes upstairs.
Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat and goes up to the bedroom.
His mother raises up and says, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, he says, “Go downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”
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